Day 66

10.06.2012

Potential.Fussell.McMuffin.Drove.Maybe.Fittest.Itself.Blast.Zones.Slapout.

Thunder.Journey.Polo.Pistol.Madden.Bunk.Tiring.

We woke up and left before all the potential rapists left their rooms.

Without any breakfast we left and put the address of the local McDonalds into the GPS. We got there and it was in repair. I don’t even want to know what happened to it. Fussell and I went and bought some shower gel. I paid with all my change. I’ve been here two months and I still don’t know what the money is all called and means. What even is a dime?

We drove on and got to a McDonalds. Kristian got a free McMuffin and he was sure that the girl behind the counter wet herself when I told her I was English.

From the McDonalds we drove and drove and drove. From Louisville we went through to Kentucky.


From Kentucky we went through to Tennessee. Every time Call Me Maybe comes on I get beyond happy.

We stopped off at a Subway and saw the fittest girl with the ugliest redneck around. We named him Brian. I love her. I hate him. I wonder what his secret is. Maybe he’s got a foot-long sub. If you know what I mean… Eh? Eh? Eh?

From Tennessee we went into Alabama itself. Everything disappeared, except for a rocket that we saw.

This song came on and we put it on to full blast and I sent voicenotes to a few people.

We drove more and drove more and drove more. Changing time zones pretty much every 2 hours.

Eventually we entered a place that the locals call Slapout. Think of rednecks and shacks and people who rock back and forth on their chair stroking guns and that is what this place was like. I couldn’t stop laughing – even though the nightmare of what we assumed Alabama would be like is very much reality – it was just so, funny.

The forecast for the week is rain and thunder and the journey down south definitely proved that.

The whole journey down we were trying to get truck drivers to hoot their horn. If you don’t have twitter then you probably wouldn’t have seen this:

We stopped off at a gas station to get changed into our UKsocca polo shirts. Kristian went for a piss so Fussell and I decided to drive the car around the corner because we’re hilarious like that. Kristian was both scared and confused. Like a lost puppy.

Ken hosted us for a few hours, along with guys called Chuck and Mike. One of them told a story of how we could just get a pistol out and do x y and z. I can’t remember what it was actually about, but it petrified me and he said it so nonchalantly.

The host families came over, I’m staying with the Ashley’s. Andrew is 8 and Erin is 2. I played Andrew at Madden 11. I thought I was going to get smashed considering I’m English. I was so wrong. I was the NY Jets, he was the New England Patriots. I won 35-28 I think in overtime.

I went off to bed to sort out my session plans. I’m staying in a bunk bed, but there’s no lower bunk so it’s not really a bunk bed is it? Or is it?

I got into bed and crashed out. Time travelling is tiring.

#MarksyyOnTour

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