Day 51




I woke up at 7am and started my trek home.

My cab driver to take me back to the train station Downtown was called Kwaku Achampong. He sounds like my FM-created centre midfielder Charles Acheampong who was German but spoke Mandarin. Figure that one out.

I got to the station and my mouth tasted like genocide had had an abortion on my pallet. The Four Loko started to hit back and I had to find a toilet ASAP. There wasn’t one nearby and my train was due to leave in 10 minutes. Conundrum. I raced around frantically in my pointy shoes slipping and sliding all over the place. I found a toilet and it had no toilet roll. I was tempted to just shit everywhere in protest of the lazy wankers who hadn’t topped it up but I figured I’d still be in the same predicament afterwards so I just held it in.

I had Tom, Nick, Red, Leo and Daisy as company for my journey home though.
Panera in Winnetka was my haven and I calmly strolled into the bathroom before starting World War III. (Isn’t toilet humour such fun?). I got rewarded with my Panera card and got a free cookie which lightened my mood a little. My phone battery died even though it said I had 20% left. Why not just tell me I have no battery left and then I won’t be so inclined to Google stuff or be on Twitter and thus I will still have battery?

I have to get an iPhone soon.

I got home at 9am and had an hour before I started work. I showered and sat in my towel like a guru until I had to leave to help Kris and Steve set up goals.

75% of paragraphs on this blog start with “I” – it’s really hard to not start it with that, unless this is just proving I’m a self-obsessed, vain knob. (Kidding, we knew that already.)

The last time I was this cranky was when I had 45 minutes sleep pre-Booze-Cruise in Kavos. This is what I looked like before the Beverage Boat, and this is how I felt today.

We put the goals up a little bit late because there was a 30 minute storm which I was sure felt like what it’s gonna be like when the world ends. The rain was so heavy it flooded parts of the pitches. Flashfloods I do believe they are commonly known as.

I tried to have a sleep in the car whilst Steve reffed a game, it didn’t work. It was too hot. We then went to McDonalds which made me feel even worse.

I had to referee a game where one team only had 7 players and the others had 11. So they did 7vs7 and I think after the one hour of playing the team with no subs didn’t even have any fluid in them to cry at how hard they got beat. I didn’t care. I barely moved from the halfway line.

Steve, Kris and I met this kid who lives in Winnetka but is from Oxford. I hope my son is like him, he was very well mannered and decent at football.

I just typed soccer in and had to correct myself. Apologies to my nation.

On the journey home we broke down so we felt it was apt we took photos.

After that game I came home and chilled out, had myself a cold shower then Steve came to pick me up before we headed to Dave’s house. It’s a mansion with a bar in and a table-football table in. I was undefeated on it all night. My defence was rock-solid. Clean sheets win games eh.

Only managed 1 Corona all night; my body felt totally and utterly drained.

We played poker, which unless you play for money is pointless, and that’s what this was. We then played Bullshit which wasn’t very fun either.

The name game found its way back, as did numerous other football quizzes people knew.
I’ll leave you with this question that Kristian posed: “Which team plays in a 1-2-5-3 formation?” First to guess will win a #MarksySayRelax t-shirt, not that they’re going to be made, but if they DO, then you’ll get one free.



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