Day 50




Wow. 50 days.


I fell asleep at 7pm last night and woke up at 8am this morning. It felt bliss to know I had slept that long but I still felt like shit. I think I was just dehydrated, which isn’t hard to believe considering every crevasse on my body had a small puddle clogging up the pores with sweat over the past 48 hours.

Today was no different, except I was sweating around a pool. So actually it was a little different. We had the people from the beach over and we played a few drinking games. I didn’t play NABP (non-alcoholic-beverage-pong for all you newbies) but I did partake in Ring of Fire which was good fun.


Isabel left school early to come and see everyone (me). I remember when I used to go to school…

Dan and Chris told everyone that they didn’t have work as many times as Steve has told everyone that he’s a goalie. Which is a lot of times.

Will cooked us some burgers on the barbecue which was nice of him. Thanks Will.
I forgot to pack boxers in my bag so I had to coach wearing swim shorts underneath my coaching shorts, which isn’t actually a horrific idea, because they had pockets in so I had somewhere to keep my phone other than my sock which makes me look like this:

The only downside is that if anyone saw me try to get my phone it would look like I’m playing with myself. Which I can assure you, I most certainly was not doing.

My musketeers for the night were Dan, Chris, Will and Kristian. We decided to get some Four Loko’s and head down to Wrigleville for the night. We played a drinking game on the way up there which wasn’t very sensible considering who was on the train with us.
We then got into a cab and from there on in the night could only be good. The cabbie squeezed all 5 of us in the back of this old banger. He plugged Kristian’s iPhone in and we listened to Wonderwall and Chelsea Dagger on the journey there. I paid for the cab so the rest of my night after that was free as everyone owed me.

You know at school you had cricket nets? Yeah? Well they have batting cages out here for baseball and there’s a bar called Sluggers which has them in. So I had a few goes in there and when I came out of the cage James and Adam were there to join us on the night out.

We went downstairs into the main club afterwards and from then on my life changed forever. Will decided to take it upon himself to rescue Dan from a 45 (at the minimum) year old woman and then get with her instead. It was animalistic. It was rough. It was graphic. It was fucking comedy gold. I haven’t laughed that hard since Evan ran into a tree.

We left there and went somewhere called Red Ivy which was the beginning of the end for me. After not getting anywhere with a 27 year old I went a tad more realistic. I shall protect the identity of the barmaid there and we shall call her Charlie. I stayed talking to her for 45 minutes and by that time every one of my English amigos had left me. So I was stranded.
I made friends with a few guys there whilst waiting for Charlie to finish her shift.

I won a drink by doing the trick that Dynamo does when he gets people to pick him up and then they try and do it again and they can’t do it. Cheers Dynamo, you boring twat.



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