Day 43

18.05.2012

Post.Mature.Love.Sit.Hollow.Shouted.Selfish.Trademark.Acclimatise.Pathetic.

Dairy.Tap.Asleep.Lads.Cony.

I woke up and re-read yesterday’s post. It was abysmal. Apologies for that. I promise it shan’t happen again.

For the second time in 2 days I’ve been told I look 24 years old. I think this means that I need a shave, or maybe I’m mature. Probably the former.

I’m starting to fall out of love with doing these blogs which is a shame. I think it’s because if I forget to do it one day then it just builds up until I’m up one night until 2am writing everything that happened 2/3 days ago. Perhaps this is my own fault but I actually don’t have that much free time other than when I’m in bed.

I also need to have a day off. Regardless of the fact that I only coach for 3/4 hours a day, I had the preconception that I’d have weekends off and haven’t had one yet. I want to just sit on the beach and drink all day and not have to worry about anything. Not that I’m worrying about anything, but you know how you love those days where you just sit and do nothing? Those are good times.

Jill Helders is on my side for the Twitter race vs Clive. All it would take for Clive to win is to get Matt to tweet about him to his 26,000 followers, but we both know that would be an immoral and hollow victory now don’t we?

I counted how many times Aidan screamed “I need my blanket” in a row, it was 13. He then shouted “Onka I need you” eight times, and then “Give me my blanket” another 11 times. I put my headphones in and then went for a run.

My sessions were very hit and miss, probably because girls and boys train completely differently. Girls like working as a team and completing a task together whereas boys want to win on their own. The best female players are the selfish ones and the best male footballers are unselfish.

I had a group of girls and 2 of them were misbehaving and the rest were sitting silently. So I stopped demonstrating the shooting technique and just walked off to go and get a drink. They asked me what I was doing and I said, “well if you already know how to strike a ball with the laces perfectly then I don’t need to be here trying to explain it to you when you’re not showing me any respect, so just carry on doing whatever you want to do, or you could listen to me and stop talking and sit still. Your choice” These speeches are becoming a bit of a trademark it seems.

I played football in the yard with the kids and Brent when I came home from coaching, the humidity was unbearable and unfathomable. I was just standing there and I was sweating. I needed to acclimatise. Oh how I miss the journeys to Powerleague talking about acclimatising with DLoF…

It honestly angers me when people wear glasses for fashion reasons, especially people who wear 3D glasses without any lenses in them. That is not only cheap but also embarrassing and pathetic. I don’t know why these little things annoy me so much but they really do.

After dinner Brent took myself and the kids to Oberweis, which if you remember reminded me of Obie Trice which I wrote about some time ago, well, it turns out this company does ice cream and eggs and other dairy shit too. So we went there for ice cream.

Alan, Brent and I went out for a few beers at a place called YardHouse which has over 100 different types of beers on tap. So we sat there and watched some of the Lakers game, Brent made me feel awkward in ways that shall not be repeated. There were two girls sitting next to Brent that ordered a pizza at about 11pm, they weren’t gonna get picked up eating that kinda stuff. It was also clear they were looking for attention considering one of them was listening more intently to my stories than Alan and Brent actually were. Yeah. I caught you looking. Bitch.

I got home and fell asleep listening to this song:

My blog got 2 views from people Googling “hot Albanian women” – sorry lads, I’ve only talked about how an Albanian woman couldn’t cut my hair, no titties here fellas.

Also, whenever I look at a picture of Cony from Take Me Out I literally start laughing at how inconceivably fit she is. How is it even possible?

#MarksyyOnTour

P.S. thank you for subscribing, if you haven’t subscribed then do so because it’ll prove to me that we are actually friends and if you don’t subscribe then I won’t invite you to my bouncy castle birthday party xx

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