I got shown this by Ed, its Barney in all of his glory, watch it four or five times in a row, and then watch it in 0.5x speed. Genius:
My parents are coming out to visit me quite soon. I don’t really miss home at all, I miss the face to face communication with people, and I miss people getting my sense of humour, but I don’t actually miss England as such. It will be nice to finally talk to people I actually know in person though.
I got out of bed at around 11:30 because I just wanted to do nothing all day, eventually I got up and ate a bowl of Cheerios. (Can you tell that my day was boring yet?)
Later, I went for a run, and stopped off somewhere to buy a chocolate bar with peanut butter and caramel in it. It was called a Whatchamacallit, that was nice. I ran to Walgreens and bought myself a teeth whitening kit because I’m fed up of my teeth colour.
I arrived at the field where I was coaching at at 3:30 so I had to wait for 30 minutes before anyone showed up. I set out my cones and lay down; I was so close to falling asleep it was quite worrying.
5 hours later I was still there, all of us played headers and volleys for about 2 hours until it was dark out. Will refused to shoot until we peer pressured him into doing it. Steve hit the crossbar from the halfway line (1 month since he started trying). Alan didn’t get the ball blasted at him which made a nice change. Kristian almost fainted and I didn’t really do anything of note that was interesting that I can remember.
I came home to find some takeaway pizza. Domino’s pizza cannot be beaten. Warm or cold, fresh or old, it doesn’t matter, it’s just superb. I wish I was getting sponsored for this kind of advertising.
The teeth whitening kit got put into practice; I fucked up the first one by putting the bottom teeth strip on the top teeth, so I binned that one and started again. 5 minutes later my teeth felt like someone was power-drilling through them. I’ve never ever felt such pain in my mouth. I can only imagine this is what it feels like to be harpooned in your gums. I will buy Sensodyne, use that for a few weeks, buy dental floss, use this for a few weeks too, and then try these coma enticing devices once more.
No pain no gain.