Day 38




My first day off involved me getting up at the earliest time since arriving here, which is still only 8am, but is still a shock to the system.

After showering and procrastinating, Kathleen, Evan, Aidan and I went to go and watch Kate play for her football team which is coached by Brent. We arrived and her team went 1-0 up almost straight away. It went to 2-0 just after half time. I told some random man the other team weren’t going to score a goal from open play because they aren’t technical enough, which was true. They had this one huge girl who just punted it upfield and kept scoring because children don’t know how to jump in the air it seems. ‘We’ lost 5-3 in the end.

I remember when I played for Wealdstone and we lost 9-0 away from home on a freezing cold winter’s morning, with puddles deep enough for me to bathe in and every single player on the other team was twice the size of me. I ended up quitting Wealdstone when I was 13 for this sort of reason.

After Kate’s game we went to Panera where Weird Kate works, I could feel her staring at the back of my head when I was eating my soup. Evan decided to shout “Josh did drugs!” as loud as he could. I was more confused as to why he said it than I was to proclaim my innocence. We asked him what ‘drugs’ means and he said “someone on The Voice took them”. I’m also confused as to how he found this out. For the record, I haven’t taken any drugs.

We went home so that Kate could get changed from her football kit into her lacrosse gear whilst Evan put on his baseball shirt and cap for his game later in the day. We took Kate to her lacrosse game where she dominated the match and scored like, 9 goals or something equally ridiculous. It’s really not that hard to get your kid to be good at a sport when they’re young. Just keep practicing with them and they’ll be good. Simple.

Brent and I took Evan to a Sports Authority store; Brent bought some new running shoes, Evan got some bubblegum, I got nothing, and for once I wasn’t even tempted to spend some money on something I don’t need.

We went to Evan’s baseball game where I saw 2 fathers whose daughters I coach. I love getting recognised, maybe it would get annoying if it happened all the time, but in small doses it’s fun, I feel like an H-List celeb. After the ball gets pitched to the kid 4 times and he misses it every time then he gets to hit it off a Tee-ball thing like this:

After Evan’s thrilling game I went with Kathleen to Costco to get some beef. I had handfuls of tasters which were provided on every corner of every aisle, it was heavenly, except the haddock, or cod, or something similarly fishy that tasted like nightmares. There were stop signs at the bends of certain aisles which I found amusing.

I unloaded everything off of the trolley whilst Kathleen went to the toilet, that scary moment occurred when the cashier has scanned everything but your mum’s gone to go and pick up some avocados or lentils that she’s forgotten and you’re just standing there saying “Hurryuphurryuphurryup” in your head, praying that she’ll arrive any second now. I just stood there blankly until she came back and paid for it. I felt like I was 9 again.

We then went back to the house where I made a turkey wrap; I put butter in it as well as some cheese, which Kathleen thought was weird. I then made another one and instead put mayo in it with some hot chilli sauce. It ended up tasting like wasabi which was a complete mindfuck.

Eventually we left and went to take Kate to her final football game of the day, her team won I think. I wouldn’t know because Evan was making me shoot against him on the field next to the actual game. I didn’t mind, although I was sure I was getting sunburnt.

We came home and then Brent, Kate and Evan joined Alan, Steve the Goalie and myself for a kick-about down at the local field. I couldn’t have played any worse if I tried. If I can’t do something it really gets me annoyed. Not a lot of things genuinely anger me, but if I’m acting like an invalid and doing something I can usually do I get so pissed.

I came home to bits of tender, juicy steak, potatoes with melted cheese on top and peas on the side. Bliss. I love meat. I’ve decided that vegetarians only eat the food that my food eats, so I may just start eating vegetarians and cut out the middle man in the system.

Here is a photo of Aidan wearing his version of Dr. Dre Beats:



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