Day 17

22.04.2012

Skipping.Smashed.BackYard.Shrimp.Handshake.Bicep.Intellectual.Tits.Tits.

I asked a child last week what her favourite cereal was, she said Raisin Bran, I thought it was an Alpen with a better, more child-friendly marketing ploy, alas, it is completely different. It’s not Life, but, what is? It is decent though. Tomorrow I’m skipping breakfast if there’s no Life in the pantry.

I went to watch Reid’s team play Scott’s team. I coach both of these sides so it was hard to stay neutral. I was taking notes during the game to tell the coaches and players how to improve. I bbm’ed Red beforehand telling him that both Tyler and Eric will score. I was right. Eric got the small smashed in his face from a foot away and it trickled into the net. It was 2-0 to Reid’s team at half time, I then spoke to Tyler at half time and told him to shoot on sight because he has a bullet of a shot for a 10 year old. He picked up the ball about 25 yards out and smashed it off the crossbar, someone followed up and scored. I took the credit for the goal because I told him to do it.

I threw the American Football around in the back yard for a bit with Evan and Kate, I’m alright at it. I’ve discovered that I’m average at pretty much everything. I’m not being all negative and attention-seeking, but anything I try for the first time I’m alright at and anything I’ve done forever I’m alright at. Jack of all traits as they say. Now I sound arrogant.

We went to dinner at a place called Fleming’s, I wore a grey tracksuit jumper, tracksuit bottoms and my running shoes. This was a goodbye meal for Geoffleen which I didn’t know about until I was in the car. I think Geoff’s name is actually spelt Jeff, but I don’t care because he calls me Jason and he’s said it too many times for me to correct him now so I just go along with it. Fleming’s is a ridiculously fancy restaurant, the lights inside are dimmed, the waiters wear tuxedos, and then there was me, eating a $45 ribeye steak with Fleming’s potatos, shrimp cocktail, chocolate truffles for dessert as well as carrot cake and a chocolate cake. I felt like an under-dressed wally; but the food was sensational.

Jeff/Geoff (Jeoff)’s handshake to say bye actually hurt my hand a little bit, need to work on the angle I approach a handshake:

I will now explain the need to change my handshake technique. The high elbow means your hand will be above theirs thus dominating the handshake. This is was Jeoff did and he gripped tightly, hence the bigger bicep in the expectation side of things. God I wish I was Jeoff.

Jeoffleen, Kathleen and the kids went to the airport, I went home with Brent. We talked about my future, he is adamant I should go to college but also sees why I haven’t gone. He went to college and lives in a lovely house in a lovely neighbourhood. Others who also live in big houses haven’t gone to college. It was a deep intellectual conversation that I haven’t really had since being here, which is nice to do after talking about tits all day with 21 year olds. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Tits.

#MarksyyOnTour

P.S. dear parents, I’m sorry for saying tits. Love Josh.

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