Day 0.5-1


Wales. Dublin. Caggie. Blanket. Blog. Kosher. Snore. Dickhead. Dalai Lama. Poker. Saleed. Lesbian.

As I write this I am currently 6,074km away from Chicago O’Hare International airport and am flying over Wales, with an outside temperature of -64°C.

It has taken me so long to find the degree sign that I am now flying over Dublin.

There was a Caggie lookalike in the airport who I didn’t want to talk to; she looked intimidating, which is a crying shame as she was fit.

The man next to me on the flight is trying to open the complementary blanket and pillow without looking as his eyes are closed. Surely your eyes being closed but you moving around will not help you sleep any faster. Maybe it will, only time will tell.

This series of blogs may become really enjoyable to read, or become dull, if it is the latter then I won’t write any more to save you from inevitable boredom. Although I’ve just re-read this and I laughed at the blanket story, so chances are it’s going to be utterly hilarious.

Unless I get bored writing them. Which is quite likely.

There isn’t really much more to say considering I’ve only been on the plane for 30 minutes, but the breakfast is bacon, I hope it’s kosher…

Update on sleeping man next to me: he is snoring, but I like him so it’s cool.

The man in front of me has put his chair so far back that I can barely even type anymore as my elbows are bent behind my own body to make way for my hands: a bit like this:

Additionally, there is a bald chap wearing a yellow t-shirt and he has the red blanket draped around him so he is looking very much like the Dalai Lama, he has also just completed a rubix cube on his ipad so chances are he actually is the Dalai Lama.

Took a nap, woke up to see the Dalai complete another rubix cube and then proceed to play poker on the little TV screen you get. He’s really good at it, like one of those pricks at your school who was popular, clever, sporty and fucking good at everything.

Saudi Arabian guy and girl from Bristol have been flirting all flight behind me. He has game, I think he speaks French too, lucky bastard. He described what his uncle who lives in Chicago looks like to her, I will attempt to draw him for you, his name is Saleed.

Wow, just found out she’s a lesbian and asked if she would be killed if she went to Saudi Arabia.

That’ll do for now.


p.s. If anyone knows the following let me know: Do lesbians get killed in Saudi Arabia?


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